//Edit: 2020.09 - This picture above was my father's crane, who also worked at ground zero.//

I was originally excited to go and help people as I have been doing since I was 16. I wanted to see this devastation and provide support as I was trained to do. I was absolutely overwhelmed at the amount of destruction and the overall feeling of the area. Having been there before, I remembered the amount of traffic in the area. The sounds and the sights. I am deeply saddened as I feel that some might not get to know this area of NY as I knew it. It was the heart of NY and it was beautiful. Now, for the most part it is destroyed. I emphatically hope that the decision to rebuild the area is approved and they update this area and make it better than it was.

I spoke with members of the NYPD, NYFD, FBI, USAR (Urban Search and Rescue) teams from around the country, FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency), NJSP Task Force (New Jersey State Police), NYSP Task force (New York State Police), all members who have been there for over a week. They don't get to leave, they sleep on boats provided by Sprit Cruise Lines. I was informed that there were over 5500 people working inside the secured perimeter and another 15,000 working in southern Manhattan south of Chambers Street. They are all exhausted, tired and dirty. There is little hope left of saving anyone at this time, one week after the collapse. Even the search and rescue dog's look exhausted and somber.

I sat at a table on the cruise ship with a NYFD Battalion Chief and 2 firefighters, one a probationary firefighter. I listened as the Chief discussed what the next steps were. They discussed the loss of 300 or so fellow members, the sudden promotions that did not adhere to their normal operating guidelines. The probationary firefighters that were no longer probationary because of the shortage of manpower. They also discussed the need for more recruitment to fill the ranks. I am writing this on Saturday, Sept 23rd and I still cannot describe the feelings in words. There are too many, none of them good. These men are strong and determined.

I walked over to a fire department near the trade center to see the memorial that they made with pictures on the walls of the firehouse. There were firefighters everywhere sleeping on anything that would support them. They were all exhausted and spent. Yet, they remained waiting for the call to start searching again. There were more destroyed fire trucks outside.

I walked through the inner security perimeter, in the rubble there were orange circles spray painted on the ground. I knew that that is where they recovered remains. Near one of the anonymous circles, there was a NYFD helmet on the ground. It was a temporary make-shift memorial for a fallen brother. All the remaining buildings were covered in a layer of thick dust. Wherever possible, there were names of the responding fire departments written in the dust.

This experience is still unreal to me. Over 3,000 people lost their lives here, 300+ emergency workers. In the end, I don't think that I did very much there. Then it was clear to me what I did do....I was part of the moral support for the firefighters. As they walked past my ambulance they continuously thanked us. Some of them stopped and chatted for a few moments, just enough to take their mind off the situation before returning to the grim task at hand.

I will be forever effected by these events. I sincerely hope that they never occur again. However, if they do you can be assured that if given the opportunity I will respond again....

I was asked all week by co-workers and people that know I went what it was like. They may think I am cold or I don't care because I brushed them away. I can't describe this except to fight back tears and the heavy lump in my throat when I think about it. That is the purpose of this website.

The next pages includes all the remaining pictures I personally took at the scene.